Christian Relationships

Abundant Grace Fellowship

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Christian Relationships
Parts 1-5

Part 1

By Pastor J.D. Link

agf-blanco.com

Col 3:17-4:1 says, "And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eye service, as men pleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God: And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ. But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons. Masters, give unto your servants that which is just and equal; knowing that ye also have a Master in heaven." 1Ti 5:1-2 Rebuke not an elder, but entreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren; The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity.”

This week I will begin a series on Christian relationships. Like the above verses of Scripture clearly indicate, God has clearly stated in His Word how we are to relate to each other as spouses, parents, children, employees, employers, and as brothers and sisters in Christ. Our desire as disciples should be to follow these instructions, and walk according to God’s Word. Our society, in large part, has forgotten how to properly relate to and how to treat others. This has crept into the church, and now much of the church is dysfunctional in how to relate to different people. We will learn what God says about these things in the coming weeks.

I would like to first start with husbands relating to their wives. I start with husbands, because this is where God starts. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church. Christ gave His life for the church. Not just in dying for the church, but surrendering His will to the Father for the church’s well being. We as husbands should surrender our life for our wife’s well being. It means doing what is best for her - not for ourselves.

As husbands, we are not to be bitter towards are wives (Col 3:19). We are not to be exasperated, indignant, or irritated with our wives. We must learn to forgive and forget. We cannot hang onto every hurt and angry word. They must be like water off a duck’s back. Love covers a multitude of sins. We must cover our wife. We must protect her honor, because she is the weaker vessel (1Pt 3:7). Weaker doe not mean stupid or physically weak, though men are typically stronger than women. Weaker means they are more sensitive, more in touch with their emotions, more apt to live from the heart - which means more apt to be hurt or deceived. The wife should be held as precious in the sight of the husband. He should long to protect her and defend her - and understand her delicate balance. This is dwelling with her according to knowledge (1Pt 3:7).

As husbands, we should live joyfully with our wives (Prv 5:18, Eccl 9:9). This is a choice. We are free moral agents. You can choose to live joyfully, or choose to live in hell. As the head of your home, you make the choice. Choose life. Be happy on purpose. Be happy proactively. Men are the initiators - women are the responders. We love Jesus because He first loved us, so wives love husbands, because husbands first love their wives. We must reach out and make the effort.

We must consider our wives as part of our own bodies (Gen 2:23-24, Eph 5:28-32). We come together as one flesh. This is symbolized in the sexual union between husband and wife. We clothe our flesh when it is cold. We feed it. We keep it from harm. We take care of it. So as we love our own body, we should love our wife. We are not to deal with our wives treacherously, but in honesty and kindness (Mal 2:14-16).

We sanctify and cleanse our wives by our words (Eph 5:26-27). We essentially shape our wives into the woman that she is (for the most part - she still has a free will). If you hate your wife, perhaps you are to blame. After all, we are to present our wives to ourselves - without blemish. This means the woman that we present to ourselves was partly created by our doing. We must take this responsibility, hard as it may be. This is our duty as Christian husbands. Let us be up for the task, and see God’s power in action. Until next time, rejoice in the Lord!

Christian Relationships

Part 2

By Pastor J.D. Link

agf-blanco.com

Last week we began our series on Christian relationships with the Biblical role of husbands. This week, we will look at the Biblical role of wives. In Col 3:18 and Eph 5:22, wives are commanded to submit (Gk- be subject to; subordinate to; in obedience to) their husbands as is fit in the Lord. This means it is fitting, or proper, in The Lord’s estimation. In Genesis, we see that God created man in His image, and God saw that he needed help (my wife reminds me of this sometimes….). Eve was created to be a sufficient helper to her husband. God did not see Eve as a second class citizen or less of a person, and neither should the husband see his wife in such a way. However, she was created for a specific role - as was her husband.

A wife is to submit to her husband in everything (Eph 5:24), just as the church is to submit to Christ in everything. Of course, if the thing is immoral or in violation of God’s commands, she is not required to submit to him in that - for that is not “in the Lord”. As Christ is head of the church, so the husband is the head of the wife (Eph 5:23, 1Cor 11:1-3). This means in the same way that Jesus gives the direction and has the authority over the church, so the husband is to give direction and have authority in the marriage covenant.

A wife may say, “It is hard to submit. I want to lead”. So the husband may say, “It’s hard to have all this responsibility. I want to follow”. Both husband and wife may not always “feel” like walking in their God ordained roles, but as disciple of Jesus Christ - as the church - we do what is right, instead of what we “feel”. Will you obey Christ or not?

A wife is to reverence (respect, honor, look up to) her husband (Eph 5:33). Affairs in marriage often happen not because of a sexual problem, but because of a disrespect problem. If a wife constantly belittles, insults, and hen pecks her husband; then she may cause him to shut down emotionally and leave mentally - or even physically. I am not excusing infidelity, but I am saying there are reasons God gave the sexes specific commands.

Wives, do you like feeling like a princess? Make your husband feel like a king, and see what will happen in your marriage. A wife’s primary duty is to show affection (physically and emotionally) to her husband, love her kids, and keep a godly sanctuary called the home (Titus 2:4-5). If you think you are a “spiritual” woman, but neglect these things - you are not spiritual as far as God is concerned. It is sad how many so called spiritual Christian women don’t show respect for their husbands, don’t submit to him, don’t keep a Godly home, and don’t have a meek and quiet spirit. God’s Word is blasphemed because of it (Titus 2:5). The world mocks the true feminine Christian woman, but God adores and highly prizes her (1Peter 3:1-6) - and so does a Godly man.

I know even many Christians choke on what I am saying here, but it is the Word of God. Because it has been scoffed at and ignored, our society is in the mess that it is in. We have not gone forward, as some would have you believe. We have gone backwards. However, there is hope! Praise God for those Christian wives who cast off the lies of society, and embrace true Biblical womanhood as disciples of Jesus Christ. Praise God for those women who joyfully accept and excel in their role as their husband’s supporter, encourager, confidant, friend, and lover. Who make their man feel like a king. Who appreciate all he does. Who keep a warm, godly home for him and their children. These are the truly strong women. These are the truly wise women. These are truly women of the Word. Until next time, rejoice in the Lord!

Christian Relationships

Part 3

By Pastor J.D. Link

agf-blanco.com

Col 3:20-21 says, “Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” This week we will continue our series on Christian relationships by looking at the Biblical responsibilities of parents towards children, and of children towards parents. As stated before, a true, positive change in our nation and society does not start in Washington, but in the lives of disciples of Jesus Christ who know their God-given roles, and then puts them into practice - resulting in strong families, then strong churches, then strong communities, and ultimately a strong nation.

It is revealed in Col 3:21 and Eph 6:4, that it is the father’s duty and responsibility to train and discipline his children. I encourage all fathers to have a family altar, which is simply a time set aside ever day to pray for and with his wife and children, and to read and study the Bible together. It is a sad fact that so many parents are concerned more with their child’s secular education, than they are with his spiritual education. This must be a priority. It is our responsibility to train up our children in the things of God, so that when they get older, they will not depart from it (Prv 22:6).

Where a father is absent either physically or spiritually, it is the mother’s duty to fulfill this role (2Tim 1:5, 3:15). However, in God’s perfect order, the father should be heading this up. To not do so is a dereliction of Christian duty. I believe our prison system is bursting at the seams because fathers are often AWOL. May it be said of us Christian men what God said of Abraham - that He (God) knew Abraham would teach his family the ways of The Lord (Gen 18:17-19). May we say a Joshua did, “As for me and my house, we will serve The Lord (Jos 24:15).

A father provokes his child to wrath, when he does not care enough for him to teach him what is right, good, and godly. He who does not correct and teach his child, hates his child (Prv 13:24). If you love your child, you discipline him. Start young, while there is still hope (Prv 19:18). Drive out foolishness with the rod, and deliver your child’s soul from hell (Prv 22:15, 23:13-14). When a child is not taught and disciplined, he will bring his parents shame; but if he be corrected, he will bring the parent rest and delight to their souls (Prv 29:15, 17).

A father is to be constantly teaching his children the words and ways of God (Dt 11:18-21, 4:9, 6:6-7). We have them but for a short time, and we need to look for every opportunity to instill Biblical truths and principles into our kids. A multi-generational spiritual vision should be the priority of the Christian parent. It will reap temporal and eternal rewards.

As for children, their priority is to honor their mother and father, and to obey them in all things (Eph 6:1-3). This is the first command with a promise of long life and it being well (Ex 20:12). In the Old Testament, God pronounced a curse and judgment upon the child who would disrespect and dishonor their parent (Dt 21:18-21, 27:16, Ex 21:17, Lev 20:9). Children are to highly value their parents, and show them the utmost respect as far as God is concerned. In fact, the Bible relates physical, and even spiritual death to those who would curse father and mother (Prv 20:20). Honoring and obeying your parents is obviously very serious and important to God.

The Bible speaks of a generation of youth that curses father and mother, and does not bless them. They are proud and pure in their own eyes, but are actually filthy in God’s eyes (Prv 30:11-13). No good thing awaits the child that mocks and despises mother and father (Prv 30:17). It is shameful the way many children speak to their parents. However, it must be taught and discipline must be given in order for the child to understand the importance of respecting and honoring their parents.

When both parent and child obey God and walk in their Biblical roles, it results in peace and blessing to the home. God’s ways are always the best way. It’s not too late to start doing the right thing. If your kids are grown, then sow into your grandkids lives. Be an example to the young people in your life. Show them God’s ways. Teach them Biblical truths. Explain godliness, righteousness, honor, integrity, honesty, and respect to your kids and grandkids. It is the best investment you will ever make. Until next time, rejoice in the Lord!

Christian Relationships

Part 4

By Pastor J.D. Link

agf-blanco.com

Col 3:22-4:1 says, "Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God: And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ. But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons. Masters, give unto your servants that which is just and equal; knowing that ye also have a Master in heaven." This week we will look into The Biblical roles of employees and employers. Let’s get into God’s Word.

The Biblical use of servant/master equates to today’s employee/employer. Although the Bible does not condone slavery, it does teach how a servant and master are to behave towards each other. These same Christian principles are to be exercised in the workplace today. Our Christianity is not to be checked at the door of the shop. We are to practice Christian principles in every part of our life. It should be who we are, not something we turn on and off like a switch.

Christian employees are to serve their boss like they would serve Christ Jesus; because truly, that is Who you serve. You would not serve Jesus with eye service (being busy only when the boss is looking). You would serve Him well, even when He wasn’t looking. Serve your boss the same way. You would serve Jesus with a sincere heart. Serve your boss the same way, not cursing him or mumbling under your breath. Christian, do your job for Jesus - no matter who your earthly boss is. Your reward will be from Him some day. That is what is important.

Do your job with all your heart, as unto the Lord. Would you be a slacker if you worked for Jesus? Would come to work late and leave early? Would you steal from Him by doing personal things on His time? Of course, some employers grant permission to use company time or resources to do certain personal things; but if you do not have permission, you are stealing.

Christian employees: Obey the rules, have a spirit of excellence, don’t steal, don’t lie, don’t spread discontentment around the work place (griping, complaining, murmuring about the job, boss, pay, etc.). If you don’t like your job, look for another; but serve your current job well, and give at least two weeks notice when you find another job. That is decent and respectful. Honor your boss. Don’t be a back talker or smart mouth. Don’t take advantage of Christian bosses; and don’t do less of a job for unchristian bosses. Look to hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant!”, from Jesus - and don’t worry about it if you don’t hear it from your boss after a job is well done. You serve Christ no matter what (Col 3:22-25, Eph 6:5-8, Titus 2:9-11, 1Tim 6:1-4, 1Pt 2:18-23, 1Cor 7:22, Mt 25:21).

Christian employers are to remember the golden rule: Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you. They are to give what is just and equal: an honest day’s pay for an honest day’s work. Don’t try to swindle employees, or make them feel guilty for taking what they are owed. They are not to play favorites, because God doesn’t. Treat all workers with the same respect. It builds confidence and trust with the workers, and it is honest. Don’t threaten, or rule over employees with severity or cruelty. In modern times, this means don’t treat your employees like dirt. Show them respect and dignity - they will typically show you the same. Care about your workers. Ask about their families. If an employee knows you actually care about them, it makes them want to do a good job. They should care about the company, because the company cares about them.

Boaz greeted his workers with, “The Lord be with you!”, and his workers responded, “And the Lord bless you!”. That makes for a nice work environment. Employers will be held accountable to God for how they treated their employees. Think about that. We must understand that even bosses have a boss in heaven that he will answer to. Even if you have to fire an employee, you can still do it with respect and dignity. Be a good boss. Be a Christian. It is so sad when you hear, “My boss says he’s a Christian, but you would never know it by working for him”. We must emulate Christ, or don’t claim His name. If both Christian employers and employees would fulfill their roles in the workplace, work could be something everyone would look forward to - and a company would reap the benefits and blessings that would bring (Col 4:1, Eph 6:9, Ecc 5:8, Lev 25:43, Mt 24:48-51, Mt 20:26-27, Ruth 2:4). I am out of space, so until next time, rejoice in The Lord!

Christian Relationships

Part 5

By Pastor J.D. Link

agf-blanco.com

1Timothy 5:1-2 says, “Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren; (2) The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity.” This week we will finish our series on Christian relationships. So far, we have looked at husband and wife, parent and child, and employer/employee relationships. We will now look at congregational relationships between each other, as well as between pastor and flock. Let’s get into God’s Word.

In 1Tim 5:1, the term elder is not referring to the office of an elder (pastor, shepherd, bishop), but rather to the aged man. Though these verses are addressed to young Pastor Timothy in context, they are applicable to the whole church. Lev 19:32 says, “You shall rise up before the gray head, and honor the face of the old man, and fear your God…” The old men in the church are to be respected. They are to be treated the way our fathers are to be treated - with reverence, respect, and honor. Even if they are in the wrong, they are to be respectfully persuaded, rather than rebuked as a child.

The younger men are to be treated as brothers in Christ. They should not be despised, nor looked at in an impure way by the opposite sex in the church. They are your brother. The older women are to be treated as a mother. Mothers are to be respected an honored in the home; so the older women in the church are to be treated the same way. The beauty (splendor, magnificence) of the aged is the gray head, and the glory of the young is their strength (Prv 20:29).

The young women in the church are to be treated as sisters - with all purity. The young women are not to be looked at in a sexual or impure way. They are your sisters in Christ. You look at them as you would your own sister. It is true that the church is the best place to find a spouse; however, the idea is that we are all brothers and sisters in Christ first of all. If a man and woman (of appropriate age, of course) have a Christian friendship that over time grows into something more, then that is acceptable to God - but we are not to go to church to “pick people up”, so to speak.

The Bible says to flee youthful lusts (2Tim 2:22). Run away from it. Avoid all appearance of evil (1Thess 5:22). Don’t set yourself up for sin by not taking control of your thoughts. You must think it before you do it. The battlefield is your mind, and you will win or lose in life between your ears. As a man thinks in his heart, so he is. Control your thoughts, and you control your life.

A pastor’s responsibility is to study, pray, feed the flock of God, and oversee the church (2Tim 2:15, Acts 6:4, Jn 21:15-17, 1Pt 5:2). He is to do it because he wants to, not because he has to; and not for greedy gain. He is not to be a controller or manipulator, but lead by example (1Pt 5:3, 1Tim 4:12). The Holy Spirit gives him this authority, Jesus gives him this gift, and The Father lays out the qualifications (Act 20:28, Eph 4:11-12, 1Tim 3:1-7). He is to do the work of the ministry, bringing the saints to completion and building up the body of Christ. He is to be a watchman, and guard the flock against false teachers and false doctrine.

The congregation is to follow the pastor’s example, as he follows Christ. They are to willingly submit to his authority, and obey what he says - so far as it is in line with God’s Word. The pastor is to be esteemed very highly in love for the sake of his work. When he speaks, preaches, or teaches from the Bible; it is to be received by the congregation as God speaking directly to them, and not as the words of a man. If a church member refuses to hear and obey God’s Word from the pastor, the church should not keep company with that person, that they may be ashamed of themselves - and hopefully repent (Php 4:9, Heb 13:7, 17, 1Thess 2: 13, 5:12-13, 2Thess 3:14, 1Pt 1:25).

This series on Christian relationships is not at all popular today - even in the church. Terms like “love unconditionally, humble yourself, submit, obey, etc.”, cause the flesh to rare up in opposition. However, this is God’s eternal Word. If you reject it, you reject God - for He and His Word are one (Jn 1:1). Those who are truly born again disciples of Christ embrace God’s Word with gladness, and seek to apply it to every part of their lives - even the hard parts. I pray this series has encouraged you to come up to a higher level in your Christian walk. Knowledge of Spiritual truth and practical application in the Christian’s life are never to be separated. They are one in the same. Until next time, rejoice in The Lord (Philp 4:4)!