Abundant Grace Fellowship
Marriage & Family Parts 1 - 3
Marriage & Family Part 1
By Pastor J.D. Link
www.abundantgracefellowship-blanco.com
The family is the bedrock of society. A nation is only as stable as the families that make it up. When the family is out of order, then the community will be out of order: then local government; state government; federal government- will all be out of order. Dysfunctional families will eventually lead to a dysfunctional country. I think we’re seeing that happen.
Our society as a whole has either forgotten - or forsaken - the God given roles of husbands & fathers; wives & mothers; and sons & daughters. More and more you see men acting like women; women wanting to be men; children acting like their in charge; and parents wanting to relive the “good old days”, and never grow up. Over 40 years ago we started sowing the wind, and now we’re reaping the whirlwind - big time. We have gotten ourselves into quite a pickle; and it’s going to take a miracle from God, and a remnant of His people to stand up for the truth of Holy Scripture concerning the roles of men, women, and children, to get us out. Let’s look into God’s Word and learn the truth. We’ll start with the wives this week.
Read Ephesians 5:22-33 carefully. Two Biblical requirements concerning wives are made clear: 1. Wives are to submit (Gk- be subject to, subordinate) to their husbands 2. Wives are to reverence (Gk- respect, honor) their husbands. This has nothing to do with superiority or gender: it has to do with order. We see clearly in nature, that anything with two heads is a monstrosity; and anything with no head is dead. God ordained the husband to be the head, not the wife. However, wise husbands are open to their wife’s opinion. After all, you’re on the same team! God formed Eve from Adam’s side, so she could come along side him; and be his partner in this life. She was not made from his foot, to be walked on by him. Nor from his head, to rule over him. Come by his side, recognize his place, and show him respect. Be proactive!
Submission is fitting in The Lord (
On the other hand, a foolish woman is loud and boisterous (Prov 9:13). She brings shame and grief to her husband (Prov 21:19, 25:24, 27:15-16), and God’s Word is cursed and mocked because of her (Titus 2:5). Men, if you have a Godly wife: you need to praise her (Prov 31:28)! Her price is far above rubies! Thank God for her! Do not take her for granted!
Read 1Cor 7:1-5 very carefully. Women, your body is your husbands; and vice versa. Never use sex to control or manipulate. It cheapens something that is supposed to be very precious and only enjoyed in the confines of marriage. The only Biblical reasons to abstain are: 1. The monthly cycle (Lev 18:19) 2. A period of time after having a baby (Lev 12) 3. Both agree, for a short time, to fast and pray. This does not give men the right to force themselves on their wives; but neither does it give women the right to always have a headache.
Sisters in Christ, do it God’s way! If you don’t like what you’ve been reaping: then change what your planting. If you want your life to blessed by God; if you want your husband to be a respectable leader of your home; If you want your husband and children to rise up and call you blessed: You hold the key in your hand to see that happen. You have the power to make your home a sanctuary; a place of blessing, security, and love. But if you want God’s benefits, you have to do things God’s way. I encourage you to take these practical steps- take the initiative - and see what God does in your family. I’m out of space, so until next time, rejoice in The Lord! Next week: Part 2 - Husbands & Fathers.
Marriage & Family Part 2
By Pastor J.D. Link
www.abundantgracefellowship-blanco.com
Last week, we began to look into the subject of marriage and family. We discussed how the family is the bedrock of society: so goes the family, so goes the nation. We started to discuss the different roles of the family members - specifically wives. We saw clearly in The Word of God what the basic roles of wives are to be. I’m sure I got a lot of amen’s from the men; but this week we will address the role of husbands. I’m sure I’ll get a lot of amen’s from the women. Let’s open our hearts, and get into God’s Word.
Read Ephesians 5:25-33 carefully. The first thing I’d like to point out, is that vs. 25 says husbands are to love their wives, not “try” to love their wives. It is a commandment. As Mr. Miyagi said to young Danielson, “There is no try. There is only do, or don’t do.”. Husbands are to love their wives! They are good, and will give you favor (Prv 18:22)! They are from The Lord (Prv 19:14)! Live joyfully with your wife (Ecc 9:9)! Everyday husbands need to hug and kiss their wives. Tell them you love them. Tell them they’re pretty. Romance them. Show some interest in your wife, besides right before you go to bed for the night.
Also in vs. 25, it says we are to lay down our life for our bride, as Christ did for His bride (The Church). This means more than just being willing to die for your wife and kids, although that is certainly included. Giving your life also means giving yourself for her. Your time, your attention, your love, your excitement: these are to be God’s first, and then your wife’s. One HUGE problem in many marriages, is married men still want to act like single boys. You’re not single! You became one flesh with your wife! She is priority, and your buddies are not! If you want to devote all your time to hanging out with the guys, then don’t get married.
We see in vs. 26-27, that Jesus cleanses His bride with His words, so that He may present a glorious bride to Himself (Jn 15:3, Ps 119:9). In the same way, we are to cleanse our wives by our words; so we may present a glorious bride to ourselves. Death and life are in the power of our tongues. Your words build her up, or tear her down. But notice, the responsibility for the kind of bride a husband has: it is his responsibility. Do you not like the kind of wife you have? Maybe you need to change what you’ve been saying to her. Speak words of blessing; of love; of encouragement. If you’re always critical, then a discouraged and hopeless wife is what your going to present yourself with. She’s not the “Old Lady”, or “The Ol’ Ball & Chain”. She is your wife, and you need to cherish her.
Deal with your wife according to knowledge (1Pt 3:7). Give honor to your wife, as the weaker vessel. Typically, she is weaker in physical strength; as well as her emotions. This does not mean there is something wrong with her. She is fearfully and wonderfully made by God: but she is not like you. You may think her emotions are stupid, but they’re important to her - so you need to respect them. Be attentive, and listen to her. She doesn’t need you to fix her - just listen, and let her know you love and care about her.
Do not deal with your wife deceitfully (Mal 2:15). There is no room in marriage for secrets. Hidden sins and secrets will destroy a relationship. 100% honesty, not 95%, is what needs to be. Get the lie out on the table, and out of your life. Provide for your wife, and don’t be a bum (1Tim 5:8). There are way too many lazy men out there that don’t want to work. Husbands, that is your job. Don’t be looking at or messing around with other women (Job 31:1, Prv 2:16-19, 6:23-35, 7:1-27, 9:13-18). Be always satisfied with your wife (Prv 5:15-21), and don’t choose the path to Hell.
Husbands, I challenge you to be the leader. To whom much is given, much is required. Let’s not pretend to be Godly men, husbands, & leaders: let’s be Godly men, husbands, & leaders. Let’s not pretend to have integrity, honor, character, discipline, self control: Let’s have integrity, honor, character, discipline, self control. Let’s stop pretending we know God’s Word, when we don’t practice it. Let’s apply these principles, and be doers of God’s Word, not just forgetful hearers (Jam 1:22-25, Mt 7:24-27). Until next time, rejoice in The Lord! Next week: Pt 3.
Marriage & Family Pt. 3
By Pastor J.D. Link
abundantgracefellowship-blanco.com
This week, we will wrap up our series on marriage and family. We started off this series by talking about the God given roles of wives; and last week talked about the same concerning husbands. Now we’re going to look into the roles of children; as well as parents. The Creator of the universe set out the pattern for the proper order of the family in His Word, The Holy Bible. It would be wise for us to read this Word, obey this Word, and then teach this Word. The wisdom of man is foolishness to God (1Cor 1:18-31). He’s been around forever; so I believe it would benefit us to listen to what He has to say. Let’s get into The Word of God.
Eph 6:1-4 says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” (see also Col 3:20-21). Children have two primary duties according to God: 1. Obey your parents 2. Honor your parents. If a child follows these two simple rules, life is good. If not, it will not be “well with thee”.
Children having respect for their teachers, elders, authority figures, bosses, etc.; starts with them being taught respect at home. Parents, it is your responsibility to train your children. Others may be involved to a degree, but it’s ultimately your responsibility. Proverbs 22:6 tells us to train our kids in the way they should go. The word train means “dedicate”. You don’t just train once. You must be dedicated. Year in - year out. Lazy parents = rotten kids. You need to be willing to put in at least 18 years per child. If your not willing, then don’t have kids; because they are work.
Even children are known by their actions (Prov 20:11). Don’t just blow off your kid’s ungodly actions by saying, “Oh, they’re just kids. You know how they are.” Wrong. Teach them what is right, and expect them to obey. If they don’t obey, then discipline them. It’s that simple. If you love your child, you will discipline (disciple) them. If you hate your child, then you won’t (Prov 13:24, Heb 12:5-11). If you correct them, they will give you rest, delight, gladness, & rejoicing (Prov 29:17, 23:15, 27:11). If you don’t correct them, then they will give you grief, shame, and bitterness (Prov 15:20, 17:25, 29:15).
Teach your children to honor their family name. Teach them that their actions effect more people than just themselves. Teach them to have a multi-generational vision for their family. But you have to lead them. “Do as I say, not as I do” doesn’t work for long. It’s hypocritical; it makes you look foolish; and it brings bitterness towards God and His Word. Live what you say! Be an example, not just a talker.
The rod of correction will drive foolishness from a child (Prov 22:15). Don’t worry, your child won’t die from a spanking (Prov 23:13). They may sound like they’re going to (so you won't do it), but do it anyway (Prov 19:18); and do it quickly (Prov 13:24). Spanking cleanses the guilt of a child (Prov 20:30), and allows them to go on with a clear conscience. Spanking should only be done on the rear end. The mark should be left on the mind, not on the body. We’re not talking about physical abuse; we’re talking about child training. It should not be done in anger or out of frustration. It should be positive and proactive; not reactive. Don’t wait until you “blow your top” to spank your child. That’s just venting, not training.
Fathers, walk in integrity; and your children will be blessed after you (Prov 20:7). Don’t frustrate your children by always being negative. For every necessary correction, make it a point to mention two positives. Build your children up. Take time with them. Develop a relationship with them. The children in this world are in desperate need of Godly parents. Parents that care for them; that show them the way; that train them up; that prove their love by caring enough to discipline them (Prov 13:24). Commit to being that parent. Decide once and for all that as for you and your house, you’re going to serve The Lord (Josh 24:15). In Jesus Name, Amen. Until next time, rejoice in The Lord!