Marriage and the Mystical Union

By Pastor J.D. Link

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    Ephesians 5:31-33 says, “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” Marriage is a mystical union.  Mystical means to be sacredly obscure; or involving some secret or deeper spiritual meaning. The Apostle Paul makes this clear in Eph 5:22-33, when he describes the marriage covenant between husband and wife as a picture or type of the covenant between Jesus Christ and the Church.  Let’s get into God’s Word.

Read Eph 5:22-33.  Husbands are to love their wives in the same manner that Christ loves the Church.  That’s unconditionally. That’s sacrificially.  That is proactively.  In other words, Jesus initiated the relationship.  The church responds to what Jesus has done.  Men are made to initiate, and women are made to respond.  Only when husbands initiate love, will the wife respond in submission.  Submission must be from the heart, and it must be earned by the husband.  In turn, a godly wife is to submit to her husband’s God - given place as leader and head of the family.  To resist that command is to resist God.

    Jesus cleanses and purifies His church by the washing of the Word. His word cleanses. It gives relief.  It forgives.  As husbands, our words need to purify our wives.  We must speak blessings, not curses.  Jesus blesses the Church with His Word, and in turn, the church wants to live up to those blessings.  Wives will want to live up to the praises of their husbands.  His curses will only make her more defiled, and even less likely to initiate change.  In other words, if you don’t like the wife you have, you may possibly want to look in the mirror. You see, you present your wife to yourself (vs. 27) - so it’s largely up to you what you present to yourself.

Husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies.  I’m glad this command wasn’t given to women.  Women generally avoid the mirror and the camera.  If they loved their husbands like their own bodies, marriages would be in big trouble.  However, it was given to men.  Men like the mirror.  We’ll stand in front of it with our boxers and black socks - bald and fat - and flex like we still got it.  We are to love our wives as we love ourselves, the Bible says.

The Lord says wives are to submit to their husbands as the church submits to God (Col 3:18, Jam 4:7).  Husbands are ordered to love their wives, and not to be mean to them or deal with them treacherously (Col 3:19, Mal 2:14-16).  Husbands are to be merciful to their wives - especially when they fail - and not hold grudges.  Jesus does not hold our sins against us.  He forgives and doesn’t bring them up again.  For a marriage to be successful, you must forgive as Christ forgives.  Don’t allow things spoken in anger to eat at you forever.  Forgive and forget.

    Husbands must purpose to live joyfully with their wife (Ecc 9:9).  Why? Because Jesus lives joyfully with His church on purpose (Zep 3:17). Our example, given by Jesus, is to dance, sing, and rejoice over our bride.  A wife is a good thing.  Your considered to have the Lord’s favor if you have one (Prv 18:22). Do you see your wife as a gift from God?  Perhaps you should start looking at her as such.  Do you seek to please her? Wife, do you seek to please him?  It is the duty of both as far as God is concerned (1Cor 7:33-34).

    An intelligent, wise, & prudent wife is a blessing from God (Prv 19:14). We, as Jesus’ bride, should be wise and walk circumspectly (Mt 10:16, Eph 5:15-17).  A virtuous (strong & courageous) women is a crown to her husband (Prv 12:4).  We, as the church, should want to be a crown to Jesus, our Lord, by being strong in His Word and in the faith (Eph 6:10, 1Cor 16:13).

Jesus gave Himself completely to His Church, and the church is to give itself completely to Him.  In the same way, a wife and husband are to give themselves fully to each other - which includes physically (1Cor 7:2-5).  The Bible says husbands need to get their satisfaction from their wife always, and not from anywhere else.  You are to have kids with your wife, not harlots (Prv 5:15-23).  In other words, we are not to have the morals of an alley cat, but as one created in the image of God. If you have already made bad decisions, take responsibility - and start doing the right thing today.  There is always hope in Jesus Christ.

    A truly virtuous woman, who is of great price to God and to her husband, is one of a meek and quiet spirit, who fears the Lord.  Men, if you have a woman like that, praise her and thank God for her.  If you don’t, I encourage you to start washing her with your words, and change what you are presenting to yourself.  You hold the key.  Until next time, rejoice in the Lord!